I remember looking at this picture, seeing child innocence, pure joy, love and gratitude. Living in present moment. What happened, where is that child?
My birthday gift to you?
When I first started with visiting psychotherapeutic coaching in 2019, I was told to find a picture of me as a child. This is the picture. I thought I will never remember anything from that age. That I have forgotten, as we are told – children forget.
I choose psychotherapeutic coaching as I wanted to find my purpose in life. I wanted to write my mission statement. Have you ever wrote your mission statement? That is your vision that will lead your life. Without it you are like driving a car, but not having your hands on the driving wheel. You are moving, but you might not be fulfilled by the places you visit.
Well back to the picture… I remember looking at this picture, seeing child innocence, pure joy, love and gratitude. Living in present moment. What happened, where is that child? I set with this photo a lot, curios what will happen, crying for what did happen, looking for hope how to move on. The first memory I touched on was the death of my grandfather. The grief, the sadness and fear were stuck in me. I revisited that memory often when I was studying first year for Compassionate Inquiry in 2020, the approach of Dr. Gabor Mate.
We are told – children forget
Layers were peeled off as on onion. And not only from this memory, but many more. As trauma is not what happen to you, but what happens inside of you, all unprocessed emotions where still with me. They showed up in my allergy outbursts, drain energy moments and at worst in crying of my babies.
I know now that babies feel everything what mother feels. By everything, I mean e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. Babies think and feel as they are one with mother and if the emotional separation does not complete by the age of 3, you can be in that role until…. Guess when?
To become a mother and a father to your inner child means to be an adult. It is beautiful to have love and support of your biological parents in your life. But as an adult you first need to be a parent to yourself.
Find a picture in your childhood album
So find a picture in your childhood album, choose the one that attracts your the most, maybe trigger you the most. Put this picture on your phone home screen. And when you look at it ask yourself what do I need in this moment? Am I filled with joy, love, gratitude, compassion, playfulness, curiosity, courage, clarity, openness, innocence, liveliness, trust? If not, that is your priority for this moment. Do everything you know and you can learn to bring that missing part to your inner child. You might find some obstacles on the way, find help, support, talk to a friend. It is worth the ride, to make your inner child smile. And only then, you will be able to pass that on to your kids and your kids will pass that on to their kids, until we live in compassionate, loving and connected world.
Yes, I am staying a dreamer!
Yes, I am staying a dreamer! With my eyes open. And that is also my birthday wish for me and you! Lets dream and hope, lets trust and do the work!
Do you know any dreamers?
Look for more information on self-care in my blogs.